I was asked to name my greatest achievement.
Looking at one’s own life, it is hard to pinpoint specific achievements if you refuse to use cultural standards.
I refuse to use my culture’s definition of great achievements. So? Greatest achievement?
Fame.
No. I will never be famous.
When I was in a high school theatre program and later went to college for Theatre Arts; I dreamed of fame. I didn’t care about the ‘fortune’ that accompanies fame. I wanted to be recognized for my ability to act. It was a gift that many people recognized, and one that college professors encouraged in me. I was in special classes to develop specific talents that I thrived on.
My gifts in this area brought me such joy and in the end unbearable tragedy.
The LORD rescued me from my GIFT. He rescued me from what I considered great achievements.
It was because of the unbearably hurtful things that I endured during these times in my young adulthood, that I ‘looked up.’
I was very mad at the world and mad at GOD for causing (or allowing) so much pain in the world; and more specifically, pain in me.
Strangely abandoned by friends and loved ones; I returned to what I knew.
I started attending the Methodist Church near my home in Austin, TX.
I wanted to give God a piece of my mind. I wanted Him to know how mad I was at Him. As I sat in the beautiful church with the intense saturated colors from stained glass windows, and the glorious sounds of the Bell Choir, I told God how unfair it was that He made people blind and deaf. Some people could not see the beauty or hear the music.
I vowed that day to start a deaf theatre troupe. I would learn sign language to communicate with the deaf culture. I would use deaf actors to communicate ‘unheard’ to the hearing world.
That week; I went to the School for the Deaf in Austin, and bought The Big Red Book. I started a journey to learn sign language.
I heard it was okay to be mad at God.
Good.
I was mad. I was furious, hurt and inconsolable.
A wise Methodist man told me that God made me with emotions, and that He was big enough to embrace my anger.
Making a vow that I have never fulfilled may be one of my great achievements.
Seeing inequality in life and struggling with difficult questions, started me on a path that questioned God, and everything I knew, or thought I knew about Him. The red book I bought, and the sign language I vowed to teach myself, led me to the earthly love of my life. More importantly; it led me to my Jesus.
I never achieved the fame I desired.
I achieved something I never expected. I gained the knowledge that the King of the Universe loves me more than life itself.
That knowledge is my most cherished achievement.
It is not an achievement I am able to claim. It was a precious gift.
Psalm 135:13 Your name Lord endures forever, your fame Lord, through all generations.
Achievements are a strange thing.
